We’ll have a random drawing including all of those who comment on the post. Winner will receive a signed copy of “It Gets Easier! And Other Lies We Tell New Mothers“. Can’t think of something to comment on? How about letting us know something you wish someone would have told you before motherhood! …. Dads you know you have things you wish people had told you as well! And the winner of the signed copy goes to Antonia S. (werefrog). Congratulations Antonia & thanks to everyone for participating!
Claudine Wolk
Claudine’s Bio: Claudine Wolk spent her pre-baby days managing an accounting office. In accounting there is always an answer. Numbers don’t avoid the question, tell you to do “what feels right”, or just lie. When she had her son, Claudine discovered that parenting experts sometimes do! So she set out to uncover the truth about parenting and the secrets that could make life a little easier.
After having three children and learning countless parenting secrets, this Pennsylvania mom decided it was just selfish to keep all these tidbits to herself. So she wrote It Gets Easier! And Other Lies We Tell New Mothers.
What all mothers should know: “In the first two years of life a baby will go through around 4,700 diapers!”
1. Obviously, the first Lie is in the title of my book or It Gets Easier! Motherhood certainly doesn’t get easier on its own. New challenges replace old challenges, but there are some things you can do, now, to make motherhood a bit easier.
2. All moms love new motherhood. You’ve finally been introduced to the baby you’ve carried for nine months, all should be bliss, right? Wrong. Truth is, many new moms are shocked at the physical and emotional demands of new motherhood. They love their baby, of course, but new motherhood is anything but a pleasurable experience. Finding out that moms are not alone in feeling a bit shell-shocked can go a long way toward enjoying motherhood.
3. Some babies sleep through the night the moment they get home from the hospital. This is a legend created to insure procreation. Just the chance that your baby may be the “Wonka Golden Ticket” and sleep through the night on his first day of life and doesn’t, can be disappointing.
4. Holding a baby can spoil a baby. Not so. Hold as much as you like. The trick is to put the baby down drowsy, not completely asleep to help teach him how to get himself to sleep.
5. Mom needs to be with her baby at all times. Finding a suitable replacement can be the first step toward being the best mom you can be. Every new mom needs a break from baby or she will overload and burn-out.
6. Only a relative is a suitable caregiver. No way. The best babysitters are the one you are not related to. Sometimes a mom needs to escape without having to explain that she is checking out the latest Eric Bana movie.
7. Breastfeeding is easy. Breast feeding may be natural but it is not easy for many new moms. It is, as they say, a learned skill that requires practice and instruction. Watching another nursing mom can be a great way to learn this skill. (Just make sure you know her, gawking after a breastfeeding stranger could be a bit creepy.)
8. Husbands don’t mind if your sex life takes months and months to resume. Although spouses are certainly understanding in this department, make no mistake, they are anxious to get back in the saddle (don’t be surprised if you want to get back in the saddle, too). Make sure you talk about it and make a plan to “do it” when your doctor says it’s ok.
Find out more about Claudine by visiting her website: www.Help4NewMoms.com
How about the “do what’s right for your baby”? They say that but they mean “Do what I think is the right way or I’m going to think you’re a terrible mother.” No one tells you all the other moms are judging you! I got more “helpful advice” from moms who learned I wasn’t going to breast feed–people who didn’t even know the reasons behind my not breastfeeding.
Hopefully new moms will remember that after the colic, the 2-year-old ‘NO’ and temper tantrums, the teenage ‘MOOOTHER, YOU just don’t understand’ (capitals important) — there comes the payback — a sweet, cuddly — grandchild. This is the baby that you don’t have to walk the floor at night because he/she is crying, you don’t have to be concerned about breastfeeding, etc. You can just love the baby and enjoy. I love my kids but I have had a ball with my grandchild — and my great-grandchild. My prior experience helped a lot — but I didn’t try to give my daughter advice unless she asked.
All I can say is…she’s right! My daughter recently gave birth to her first. And believe it or not I found my mouth saying…”It gets better”! Meanwhile I was thinking…”No it doesn’t. One day you’ll have to watch them leave in the car with their new spouse. And then come their babies and you worry that they will make the right decisions as new parents!” The cycle never ends.
I do however agree with Deborah A. grands are the absolute best!
This is true in triplicate when you go home from the hospital with triplets (or in our case 2 out of the 3 for a few days before our 3rd joined us). I think it mostly just gets “different.” They say it gets easier after 2 years old (and since our triplets our not quite a year), I’m still holding out hope that once they’re all potty trained some things will be easier… it’s the only thing that keeps us sane 🙂
Grandparents of singletons have a different experience than grandparents of multiples too… There are plenty of times when Grandma has walked the floor with one of ours, while my husband and I are taking care of the other two. Still… I wouldn’t trade our trio for anything (or their 13 year old sister either, for that matter).
Sounds like a terrific book! Thanks for the interview.
I’m not a new mom yet but this book sounds terrific. I’ve already heard most of the fibs Claudine’s unveiled; thank you so much for the interview!
As expecting parents, I think my wife would LOVE this book. We have the staples like “What to expect when your expecting” but it just seems too watered-down. I think a book about the straight dope is excellent, very much looking forward to this book 🙂
What no one tells you is that the parenting worry and concerns never end- they just continue and grow when the grandchildren arrive. But, I wouldn’t change one minute of the experiences that I have had. To have your grand child look at you with adoration and say, ” Don’t leave. Can I go with you?” makes every moment of it worth while!
The one thing that people told me that I thought I understood was how much I would love my children. Until you have kids you cannot ever know what that feeling is like and I wish that everyone who wanted to have kids would be able to. It is true that it just gets different as they get older – some things are easier and some are harder – overall just different. There are things that I worry about now that were so far from my mind when I was growing up. I really wish I could somehow infuse my life experience and knowledge into my kids so that they would have a head’s up about everything (and not just yes me like I did my parents).
My wife would love this book–we just had our third kid, and it’s amazing what you forget in the interims. It sounds like a good read for any new parent, mother or father. I might have to order this, for my wife and I, and for my wife to use in her childbirth education classes she teaches: she’s always looking for good new resources, and this sounds as if it might be one.
I was a new adoptive mom 20 years ago. I was fortunate enough to have people share some of the same myths, with me, and tell me they were myths. My challenge was that I did not have the 9 months to get to know my baby before he arrived. When I found there were times I was not madly in love with him, friends assured me it was the same when you bear your own, so I had great support from others who were also starting their families.
I am sure this book will help those who are not as lucky to have a great support system “at the ready.” Look forward to reading it and sharing it as a Baby Shower gift!
Agreed, it’s a lot easier surviving grandkids, but what I wish I’d realized at the time I had babies was that those moments are so incredibly short. I spent so much time seeing to their needs and managing a house and family, one after the other–I had four–that when I look back, I see I missed moments I wish I could savor again.
Every minute–even those sleepless nights–are precious once they’re gone. I still often dream I have a baby. Last night I was caring for sextuplets, and I didn’t even know all their names. LOL
Sounds like a great read. We’re expecting a baby this winter, but since she’s my second, I know she probably won’t love to sleep for eight hours straight and I won’t get skinny either. 🙂
How I wish this book had been available for me before having kids!!! Would love a chance to win a copy and read it and pass it on to my daughter, who is expecting her second. Thank you.
This sounds like a great book! Can’t wait to read it. 🙂
I wish that this book was around when I had my first child (she just turned 16). When I was pregnant with my other daughter then my son, one thing that became very clear was that every child is very different.
I lucked out with my oldest, she was an “easy one” I guess you could say. She was the one who did sleep through alot of nights and she wasn’t very colicee. Each one though got worse. The joke with my husband & I is that if our son was first, he would be an only child (he’s now 10). We have had alot of scary moments with him, from the time I conceived to even now.
This sounds like a great book and even though my children are older, I would love to read it. I also know a few new moms that would enjoy it too.
I also wish this book would have been available before I started having my children. But it sounds like a great book to give at a shower. Can’t wait to read it!
We found it so encouraging to hear we are not the only ones who were not having the smooth time in parenting. Having a book that affirms new parents that they are not alone sounds like a great book.
There are so many people out there with the perfect solution to be the perfect parent. All kids are not the same. All parents are not the same. There probably has never been the same parent child combination in all of history.
The book looks really good. New moms can use all the advice they can get and adding some humor into it…well, you’ve got a recipe for success. 🙂
My first experiences with babies was as a babysitter. It was the most enjoyable times of my life. I babysat for all my older siblings, and then expanded my business to other new moms at my school. I was happy to give new parents an opportunity away from the house and have some fun with cute kids. I used to love watching the Baby Einstein series with the young ones. We would have fun with the music and color portions. 🙂
New moms–remember to take some time for yourself! There are wonderful babysitters out there!
My husband and I are planning our first baby, and I’d love some tips. Thanks!
When I had my first child, the Dr. Spock books were the rage…So I read it,,,studdied it evan. Then I had my Daughter and realised,,,She hadnt readthe book!!!! I did all the things the book said to do,,,and sometimes,she cried anyway. I blamed myself,,I mean I read the book!!! I wish some one had told me, that sometimes babys just cry,,and want to be rocked and loved. and it dosent mean that your a bad Mom. Also,,breast feeding is hard work!!! and its o.k if you dont want to it. I realy think its betterfor ababy to bottled feed with a happy Mom,,then beast feed with a guilt ridden,,tired,,unhappy Mom.
I remember those days well! My friends daughter just has a baby and we are trying to tell her the “real” scoop 🙂
This sounds like a wonderful book. Finally, the truth about having a baby. She shows the more realistic side to having children. Reading this book would be helpful for anyone with children or expecting a baby.
Sounds like a great book! I had just found out that my niece is expecting,it would really help her out! It would have been really helpful for me when my daughter was born! Thank you for the interview
I wish this book would have been available to me before having my kids. I think some of the day to day things do get easier the older your child gets it’s just the problems are harder to solve! I am recently the mother of a teenager (where did the time go?) and it seems the hardest job in the world at the moment!One day he’s my precious baby learning to ride a bike the next he’s fighting with me over the the smallest things!
I love the “It gets easier!” I have an 18 yr old and 15 yr old twins, and I’m still waiting for the “easy” part!
Parenting is all about maintaining a sense of humor–even if it takes years of remembering to find the humor.
I definitely think this is something that my mother would get a kick out of. Great interview!
This book sounds humorous and helpful all at the same time! I’m not a parent yet but I’m sure I will be able to relate to these myths someday.
Sounds like a helpful but easy-to-read book! Would love to win the giveaway 🙂
Been there, said that! I’m a grandmom now and what you say is exactly what I remember. Some days were easier, but the ones that followed made you forget the easier days. But, what fun! Would you have life any other way?
My children are 13 and 11 now and I wish this book had been available to me when they were babies! It sounds like this book is chock-full of great, helpful, and TRUTHFUL advice!
As a parent of children who are often labeled as “easy”, I get the question how did you do it? There’s not magic secret but my husband and I try and remain calm and only fight the big battles. For example with our two year old, if all he wants to eat for dinner is pickles and a peanut butter sandwich that’s okay. I’m not going through the battle because I know yesterday he had vegetables and yogurt.
I’ve also learned it’s okay to let me child cry or figure out something for themselves (as long as it’s not an issue of safety). Many times we want to “save” our children the frustration but that’s a big part of how they learn.
Looks great!
I’m a new mom to 2 babies and there is a LOT of things nobody told me!
And the Winner of the signed book is…. Antonia S. (werefrog) Congratulations Antonia!
Coming up next, just in time for Halloween… We’re interviewing author Bruce Boston, three time winner of the Bram Stoker Award.
VERY appropriate title-I love it! Thanks you for the opportunity to read this book.
Wow…sounds like an awesome book! I’d love to read it! I just had my first baby on Sept. 8th, and while it hasn’t been the easiest thing I’ve ever done, it’s definitely rewarding.
Jodi – I agree completely – the “mom judgment” thing is certainly a punch in the gut for a new mom.
To all the grandmoms and Not-Yet moms out there – thanks for your kind words, this book is the perfect shower gift – a gift that may actually make motherhood easier, please pass it on.
Jennifer P. – so true! so true!
Mike S. – Right? Some of the most helpful books I read, I read for my third baby!
Maggie S. I know. “Babies Cry 101” should be a required course for new parents.
Melody P – Sense of humor is key!