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VostromoScope – Libra

by Greg (VOSTROMO)

 

LIBRA

Symbol: The Scales

Element: Air

Ruling Planet: Venus

Birthstone: Compost, but in a really nice setting

 

Libra is the only Zodiacal sign that does not represent an animate, living object but a conceptual one: the balance of the life forces, represented by hanging scales, symbolically empty of any particular, specific concerns, as many Librans are themselves. Coming at the time of agricultural harvest, Libra reminds us of the bounty nature provides (Brigitte Bardot, Susan Sarandon, Rex Reed), the hard work necessary to reap it (Gandhi, Lech Walesa, Annette Funicello), the intertwining of man and nature (Enrico Fermi, TS Eliot, Shaun Cassidy), the need to pay rent (Randy Quaid), not to take drugs (Dwight Eisenhower), that some people are just cooler than you (Sting, Yves Montand), that we can all have better thighs (Suzanne Somers), that Darth Vader is actually Luke’s father (James Earl Jones) and that you don’t have to get the most au courant Halloween costume to be awesome (Bela Lugosi).

Librans possess strong personalities, which is a good thing because generally, like an organic potato, they’re not so physically attractive (Mickey Rooney, Tommy Lasorda). They fall into two principle types: “shy/sensitive” (Jean-Claude van Damm) or “lively/quite noisy when drunk” (Carrie Fisher, Richard Harris). Steadfast, often impatient with those that disagree with their closely-held beliefs, they are nonetheless realists, and willing to change opinions in the face of persuasive evidence, such as an unmarked twenty concealed in an offered palm.

As mates, Librans can be dominant of less self-assured signs, but balance this with enthusiasm (Jerry Lee Lewis) and dedication to the object of their affection (Julio Iglesias). As creative artists, Librans are adept at combining the moderate passion necessary to reach a wide audience (Angela Lansbury, Julie Andrews) with the more personal, intimate, demanding passion that true greatness often grows from (Franz List, John Lennon, David Lee Roth). Often they’re just plain crazy (Aleister Crowley, Annie Besant, Evel Knievel).

Despite the quest for balance inherent in their birth sign, Librans can be contradictory in quotidian matters: they hate plastic silverware, but love paper plates. They will help a friend move a thousand boxes a thousand miles, but refuse to learn to play Solitaire. They prefer European movies, as long as they’re edited for television. They see nothing wrong in spending $4.99/lb at Whole Foods for ugly organic potatoes, then cover them in cheap Kraft cheddar cheese or slather them with Hunt’s — HUNT’S! — ketchup. And that may be Libra’s most valuable gift, the most important lesson the sign imparts to its companions: the man with the loftiest ideals and the man with the basest instincts share a place in the common sphere — we’re all just compost in a really nice setting.

This month’s forecast: Boo!

 

 

Off Balance by Mary Sheepshanks

 

Gandhi Was A Libra by Michelle Kennedy

 

Balance Point by Kathy Tyers

 

Libra The Cat Who Saved Silicon Valley
by Lincoln Taiz & Lee Taiz

 

The Chaos Balance by L.E. Modesitt, Jr

 

Never Love A Libra by Vicki Kamida

 

 

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6 Responses to “VostromoScope – Libra”

  1. pottergal says:

    I can’t imagine where you got Compost as the birthstone! that is too funny. I’d never thought of this as a sign about a concept instead of a reality, and that pretty much sums up all the Libra’s I know. Interesting books you pulled out too. Made me smile!

  2. James L. (JimiJam) says:

    I have been looking forward to this blog post, and it did not, in any regard, disappoint! I’m even happier to be a Libra lol

    Ridiculously fantastic job, Greg!

  3. Greg (VOSTROMO) says:

    Thanks as always for the nice comments. I would point out again that they don’t let me choose the linked books — they’d be weirder, I assure you — that’s a Blog Coordinatrix function.

  4. Whitney (whitneyab) , says:

    Thanks for making me laugh. Again and again and again.

  5. Terri W. (rural-girl13) says:

    As a Libra, I resemble those remarks! And I love a good laugh, which the post certainly gave me…

  6. Hunter S. (Hunter1) says:

    they are nonetheless realists, and willing to change opinions in the face of persuasive evidence, such as an unmarked twenty concealed in an offered palm.

    LMAO!

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